On a quiet winding road in the middle of nowhere on a Sunday afternoon, sat this beautiful old church. The ground beneath my feet was damp and even crunchy as I walked to get this shot. I could hear the blissful sound of a babbling brook across the tiny two lane blacktop but I didn't venture across to snap a shot of that. There will be plenty of those shots in my future.
I chose this little country church to be the first post in my new saga because of my firm belief that God has led me to be where I am. As He generally does, He closed doors that needed closing and opened up new ones so that I would find the path He has laid out for me.
I've been a wreck, emotionally and physically, since Feb 2018. I've been lost and hopeless. Sad and dejected. Going through the motions of a life that didn't really feel like mine anymore. I drank too much, I cried too much, I ate too much. I didn't exercise enough. I stayed in my home as much and as often as I could.
I made mistakes. So many mistakes. I traded in the car that was solely mine to get a fancy dancy SUV that was just taken from me in the divorce. I stayed with a man who didn't love me because he can't love anyone but himself because I hoped against hope that the life we had before would come back if I waited long enough. But it didn't.
I didn't do enough to make my kids happy. I didn't spend enough time with my grandkids. The list goes on and on.
So, after being summarily told by every single person I know that there is no place for me in their home, and on some occasions, in their life. Then, just as I was losing hope to the point I thought I would be going home to see my Mom in the great beyond, a friend of mine from years back offered me a place to stay in a town nearly 1100 miles away. No strings attached. Just come up and you can stay and look for a job up here and I've already had a couple of call backs for jobs so I feel like that is a good sign.
I've been here 6 days today. It seems like a lifetime for some reason but not in a bad way. I'm so very grateful for this friend, who really in the past was only a passing acquaintance at my old job as we worked different shifts and only saw each other at shift change, to have been so open that she gave me an opportunity to change my life.
It may last forever up here in this paradise or I may end up having to turn tail and run back home to Texas, but you can bet I'm going to do my very best to make a new life up here and start living for me. This is the kind of place I've always dreamed of. I even wrote a story once similar to this. Maybe it was a self fulfilling prophecy.
At any rate, in my new little journal, there's a page that says, "If you find yourself in the wrong story, leave." So I did.
~Thank you. God, for helping me to stand up, dust myself off and begin to believe I deserve a second chance at this life. I owe everything I am and will ever be to You, Heavenly Father. Amen.~
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